Maybe I’m still doing this wrong…
I’ve been doing well to change my habits, myself, and my surroundings, but it’s not done. I feel like everyday there’s something else I learn.
I think the next step is to ease up on life and not be so serious all the time. I have been focused so hard on people and what they’re capable of and, because of the unique circumstances of my life… I have often been let down.
A 30 year-old friend of mine from the gym had a chat with me today about life (I often enjoy conversations like this). He has gotten to know me well enough to know some of my tendencies already and suggested that I take even more of my life into my hands in terms of how I deal with people. He suggested that I let go of one of my biggest drives. He thinks I need to stop being the good guy.
The nice guy may not always come in last, but I promise, he never comes in first. From now on, I’m going to try to enjoy myself and not constantly worry about others and consequences and trust that my “good guy tendencies” will shine through on their own. I’m tired of being in the reserves for everyone. I refuse to care for people, only to be that guy who’ll be there when you need him.
This is my next mission… this and continuing to be open to new experiences.
I feel like I’m being re-taught how to live my life after everything thats happened.
