I’m not really interested in anything
Nothing grabs me and says “give me everything you’ve got,” so I just go about my daily routine and try to improve myself mentally and physically until something does.
I used to be afraid to lose anything… a person, an possession, a feeling. Now I almost find loss exciting (am I broken?). Everything is up for grabs in my life because I have my finger on the pulse of how short and fickle life can be.
My family hates each other most of the time, but tries to hide it. I find this back-talking and deceit completely intolerable after all of these years of carefully edited explanations. They don’t respect honesty the way that I do and it kills me. My family prefers that everyone lie and pretend to be happy, so there’s no confrontation and I used to agree, until a good friend of mine helped me realize I was never going to get where I wanted to be by avoiding every possible argument.
Now, there is a subconscious scale for everyone and everything in my life (even family) and if it gets weighed down, then whoever or whatever is the cause gets removed.
My my my, how life changes!?
